Hello. I'd like to write this down, in case anything should happen to me. It happened two years ago, when me and my roommates watched a... rather odd episode of "Regular Show".
It was a pretty normal night. It was April and pouring. I was channel surfing, Riku was studying and Sora and Kairi were "having some fun", if you know what I mean. I noticed that Regular Show was about to come on. Since it was Monday, that meant a new episode. I called Sora and Kairi and they came into the living room.
The show started. The title of the episode was "Everything Ends". I thought it would be themed around Mordecai and Rigby accidentally causing the end of the world and having to reverse time. But no. Nothing ever happens our way. The episode started. Mordecai and Rigby were watching TV when an ad for a gun shop came on. The exact dialogue was this:
"Greg's Guns is now open! We got handguns, shotguns, snipers, even rocket launchers! Hunt for animals! Fire the starting gun! Kill your friends- wait, forget that last part! Come on down to Greg's Guns!"
I cocked an eyebrow in confusion. Why would they put something like that in a TV-PG show? I mean, the have pushed the envelope a number of times, but this is just too far.
"Kill your friends, eh? Well, Mordecai is in for quite a surprise..."
Judas Preist! What the fuck did Rigby just say? The screen faded out and came back at the gun shop. Inside, Rigby was talking to a rather obese, blonde man, who was supposedly Greg. Only problem: the scene was in Swedish. It didn't even sound like Rigby's Swedish voice actor. Luckily, being born in Stockholm, I understood Swedish fluently, and translated the scene for my friends.
Greg: "What kinda gun do you want, son?"
Rigby: "I'll take a RPG-7."
Greg: "Ah, a rocket launcher! What are you gonna do with it? Help demolish that condemned apartment building in town?"
Rigby: "No, I'm going to kill my friend."
Greg: "...Huh?"
Rigby: "You heard me. You said on the commercial."
Greg: "I made a mistake during the commercial, so if you want it for that, I'm not giving it to you."
Rigby: "GIVE ME THE FUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHER!!!"
Rigby pounced on Greg. He took a chainsaw from absolutely NOWHERE and chopped off Greg's testicles, causing him to die of blood loss. The blood didn't even look like part of the scene. It looked real, like, hyper-realistic. Rigby stormed out of the shop, and it faded to black.
The scene transitioned back to the park. It looked creepy. Trees and grass were dead and the chimney on Pops' house was spouting fire. Rigby opened the door. He had blood on his face. He called for Mordecai, now in English again. Mordecai came downstairs, asking Rigby what he wanted. Rigby told him to stay there. He ran outside and took out his rocket launcher. He smoked a blunt and aimed the rocket. He pressed the trigger and fired. The rocket hit the house through the door. Inside, Mordecai was struck by the missile. He was completely disintegrated by it, his blood and guts realistically flying everywhere. We get a shot of the house from the outside. The explosion looked very real, and blood was spouting from it. Mordecai and Pops' heads landed next to Rigby, who laughed in a demonic tone.
Kairi ran out of the room, and Sora followed her, so it was just me and Riku. I told him what we were seeing couldn't be viewed by human eyes ever again in time. Back to the episode, Rigby was on a rampage. He fired rockets everywhere. Adults, children, and even babies' body parts flew around. Rigby aimed the rocket launcher at Benson's apartment building. He fired, and the building exploded. Benson's dead body landed right next to Rigby. Rigby then said in a demonic voice:
"This universe is done for. Everything is destroyed. Now, I begin my conquest to destroy all, helped by Satan. Starting with YOUR universe!" He pointed at the viewer. "You, the one watching this episode, will be dead very soon. Remember this... Everything Ends." He fired the missile at the screen, and the TV shut off. Riku vomited, and I ran to my room.
The next day, Sora called me into the living room. Apparently, he saw some graffiti on our apartment building's side, and it seemed it had something to do with the episode. He led us outside, and showed us the graffiti. It looked as if it were written with dried blood. It said, "SLOWLY, THE UNIVERSE WILL SUCCUMB TO MY POWER." Riku sighed, and thought out loud, "Did any other people watch the episode?"
Kairi pulled out her cell phone and called the network heads, as her cousin was a storyboard artist for Young Justice, and formerly, Teen Titans. She talked for a couple minutes, then raised her eyebrows in worry. She then became enraged, and threw the phone into an alleyway.
"What... what happened?" Sora asked her, worried. She replied, "They don't know anything about the episode. They said that Rage Against The TV was playing." I grunted, walked towards her phone (it wasn't broken) and called the network heads. I asked them if I could talk to J.G. Quintel, the creator and voice actor of Mordecai.
"Hello, can I help you?" Quintel questioned. I replied, "Yes. Do you know anything about a Regular Show episode called Everything Ends?" There was a pause, and he responded, "Uh, yeah. Me and a few of my friends made it for fun, back in '06. Looking back at it now, it disgusts me. Disgusts me to the core. I-I don't know, how I could make something that sadistic."
I nodded and asked, "Why did you make it? Did you have a reason?"
He explained, "See, there was this guy... I won't tell you his name, but he destroyed an apartment building in my town. It was around this time I was making all the characters, and I thought of Rigby as psychotic, sadistic... basically, the series would revolve around Mordecai trying to turn Rigby's life around. So, I hear about this on the news, and I think to myself, "Wow, that could be an episode."
"Who were the voice actors? Why was one scene in Swedish?!"
"The voice actors... my roommates. The one who played Rigby liked to be in charge of everything. Couldn't be commanded by someone."
I looked at Sora. You may have recalled that, earlier, Sora and Kairi were having sex before the episode started. Sora was always dominant to Kairi. J.G. continued.
"The one who played Greg was a Swedish exchange student. He also did the Swedish voices for Rigby and Greg. He was always afraid of the guy who played Rigby, thinking he'd kill him in his sleep or something."
I looked at Kairi. As you may have guessed, she was submissive to Sora.
"Lastly, Mordecai was played by a guy who hated everything about society. Politics, religion - everything."
Riku really fit the bill. Also, I hated society as well. I spoke up.
"Sounds a lot like me and my friends."
There was no answer.
"Quintel? Quintel?"
It wasn't like he hung up. The phone was still talking. Then, a chilling voice spoke.
"I GOT HIM. AND NOW, I'M COMING TO GET YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS."
I hung up and threw the phone into a dumpster, breaking it in half. I ran back over to the three. "We need to leave, now."
I explained the entire situation to them, and they believed me. We took what we needed, and drove out of town. Even now, we just drive all around the country in a RV with our other friends. We make money by preforming concerts in a band called The Lowlives. I play vocals, Sora and his half-brother Roxas play guitars, Kairi plays drums, Riku plays bass, Kairi's adopted cousin Namine plays turntables, and our friends Axel and Xion play percussion.
I kept the episode on a VHS tape. Recently, I tried to show it to the others, but all that came on was Rage Against The TV. To this day, I still think that TV was possesed or something. Remember what I said about never being seen by human eyes again? I was right.
---
On a Friday the 13th in July, Roy took a Miami Herald from a 7-Eleven in Miami. The headline read -
"APARTMENT DESTROYER STRIKES AGAIN"
Chills ran down Roy's spine as he read the article. It said the killer had a pet raccoon, and the raccoon had stepped on the man's rocket launcher. It fired and hit an apartment building (Roy and the other's old building, to be exact). The man saw this and took pleasure in the screams of mothers, children, and animals alike. He then destroyed buildings all around the state, then the region. Now, he destroys apartments over the whole East Coast.
I hear he kidnapped Riku and Xion about a month ago. After Riku telling him vital information about the episode, he let them go. He told me everything.
I just hope Roy and his friends don't find out about our plan.